An argument ensued over the last 24 that stemmed from one person having idols and the other (me) not having any. It has inspired deep thought about myself (my favorite thing), the people in my life, the people not in my life, and people of different cultures and belief systems, and I found that this topic did not have any borders, socially, politically, economically or otherwise.
What are idols, and why do so many have them, and even have to have them, and why do I not? Are either of these choices or needs helpful or destructive, right or wrong? My ponderance of the day as I drink my illegal raw goat's milk cappuccino in the state of North Carolina.
It all started while discussing history with my significant other when he proclaimed that his idol lived in the 1700's and was none other than Casanova. Giacomo Casanova. My initial gut reaction was "Blech!" The quintessential womanizer of all time. I was first shocked, then appalled, and then I was scared. How could the man I love aspire to be a man of this moral character? I must admit that I pretty much saw the writing on the wall on this one. Those red flags that pop up from time to time were waving obnoxiously in my face like an annoying swarm of black flies as I tried desperately to deflect the swarm with my brain rather than my hands.
Immediately after receiving this tidbit of information, I gave myself a mini-education via an encyclopedic synopsis of Casanova's life, and learned that there was much more to the man then just womanizing. He was a gambler (and a bad one), lived on the money and graciousness of other people, was imprisoned on multiple occasions, one of which he escaped from and fled that country, was allowed back many years later, only to be evicted again, was in and out of various religious venues and kicked out...it just kept going on and on, and my stomach became more and more queazy. As far as I could tell, the gig for this gigolo was exposed, and it was up. There was nothing nobel or moral or appealing to me in this personality type.
But the man I know is more intelligent Casanova was, by far. It was curious to me that this would be his idol. Upon more careful study, I found there were striking similarities in their interests, including law, language, mathematics, and the desire to mingle with high society in a desire to see himself in or be accepted into a higher class. Seeing this, and putting my own emotions aside (that would be the continuous emotion of wanting to vomit), it made me take a closer look at what makes one idolize another. What is it that makes one an idol of another?
First, the whole notion of idolizing someone is a turn-off for me, personally. To worship another person would make me feel less than them, and I am not less than anyone. And to be worshiped by another person would make me feel more than them, and I am not more than anyone either. It is my deep belief that I am the same as everyone. Human. I am the good. I am the bad. I am the ugly. So are you. So was Casanova. So was Hitler. So was Mother Teresa and Jesus. All human, in all its forms. So why idol one over the other?
I believe it is more an issue of objectivity. A desire to see one's self in another, to see our humanity in a way that is validating. Someone in my distant past once told me that it is impossible to see oneself objectively. I don't know if this is a true statement or not, but it stayed with me since my youth, and if it is impossible, or perhaps very difficult, finding "idols" makes perfect sense. Seeking out people of history, past or present, with whom we can most closely identify with gives us the ability to see ourselves more clearly. They are like having a mirror for our soul.
A personal example of this is during the past year, I went through a period of reclusivity that included a bit of mania and no interest in personal hygiene. For a few weeks, I declared that Howard Hughes was my idol, much to the horror of my Mom. My declaration spurred me to read more about him, and I found that there was much more to Hughes then the popular notion that he was just a crazy, stinky man with a lot of money. He was, in fact, brilliant, achieved many tremendous accomplishments and was a man of great character who was plagued with a bit of mental illness. Of course, now I idolized him even more.
Having showered recently, taken my morning dose of anti-depressent medication and having had a good night's sleep, I can see myself a bit more clearly, and can see that I wasn't idolizing Hughes. I was identifying with him. I didn't want to be like him...I was like him, just as my aforementioned significant other saw himself in Casanova.
Relieving the compulsion to puke, I now realize that our idols shift and change as our mutable souls and psyches search for new mirrors to look into. Reflections of who we are today may come in the form of Madonna (the pop singer), Madonna (Mother Mary) or Madonna (smirking her way through eternity). You may see yourself through your child or your dog or a stranger on a bus, or maybe, if you look hard enough into your own eyes, you can see yourself when you look in the mirror.
Regardless of how you come to see yourself, the beauty is that if you don't like who you see, you can change who you are and maybe even become your own idol. It is then that we see ourselves objectively.
I wonder who will reflect me today. Maybe it will be me.
What are idols, and why do so many have them, and even have to have them, and why do I not? Are either of these choices or needs helpful or destructive, right or wrong? My ponderance of the day as I drink my illegal raw goat's milk cappuccino in the state of North Carolina.
It all started while discussing history with my significant other when he proclaimed that his idol lived in the 1700's and was none other than Casanova. Giacomo Casanova. My initial gut reaction was "Blech!" The quintessential womanizer of all time. I was first shocked, then appalled, and then I was scared. How could the man I love aspire to be a man of this moral character? I must admit that I pretty much saw the writing on the wall on this one. Those red flags that pop up from time to time were waving obnoxiously in my face like an annoying swarm of black flies as I tried desperately to deflect the swarm with my brain rather than my hands.
Immediately after receiving this tidbit of information, I gave myself a mini-education via an encyclopedic synopsis of Casanova's life, and learned that there was much more to the man then just womanizing. He was a gambler (and a bad one), lived on the money and graciousness of other people, was imprisoned on multiple occasions, one of which he escaped from and fled that country, was allowed back many years later, only to be evicted again, was in and out of various religious venues and kicked out...it just kept going on and on, and my stomach became more and more queazy. As far as I could tell, the gig for this gigolo was exposed, and it was up. There was nothing nobel or moral or appealing to me in this personality type.
But the man I know is more intelligent Casanova was, by far. It was curious to me that this would be his idol. Upon more careful study, I found there were striking similarities in their interests, including law, language, mathematics, and the desire to mingle with high society in a desire to see himself in or be accepted into a higher class. Seeing this, and putting my own emotions aside (that would be the continuous emotion of wanting to vomit), it made me take a closer look at what makes one idolize another. What is it that makes one an idol of another?
First, the whole notion of idolizing someone is a turn-off for me, personally. To worship another person would make me feel less than them, and I am not less than anyone. And to be worshiped by another person would make me feel more than them, and I am not more than anyone either. It is my deep belief that I am the same as everyone. Human. I am the good. I am the bad. I am the ugly. So are you. So was Casanova. So was Hitler. So was Mother Teresa and Jesus. All human, in all its forms. So why idol one over the other?
I believe it is more an issue of objectivity. A desire to see one's self in another, to see our humanity in a way that is validating. Someone in my distant past once told me that it is impossible to see oneself objectively. I don't know if this is a true statement or not, but it stayed with me since my youth, and if it is impossible, or perhaps very difficult, finding "idols" makes perfect sense. Seeking out people of history, past or present, with whom we can most closely identify with gives us the ability to see ourselves more clearly. They are like having a mirror for our soul.
A personal example of this is during the past year, I went through a period of reclusivity that included a bit of mania and no interest in personal hygiene. For a few weeks, I declared that Howard Hughes was my idol, much to the horror of my Mom. My declaration spurred me to read more about him, and I found that there was much more to Hughes then the popular notion that he was just a crazy, stinky man with a lot of money. He was, in fact, brilliant, achieved many tremendous accomplishments and was a man of great character who was plagued with a bit of mental illness. Of course, now I idolized him even more.
Having showered recently, taken my morning dose of anti-depressent medication and having had a good night's sleep, I can see myself a bit more clearly, and can see that I wasn't idolizing Hughes. I was identifying with him. I didn't want to be like him...I was like him, just as my aforementioned significant other saw himself in Casanova.
Relieving the compulsion to puke, I now realize that our idols shift and change as our mutable souls and psyches search for new mirrors to look into. Reflections of who we are today may come in the form of Madonna (the pop singer), Madonna (Mother Mary) or Madonna (smirking her way through eternity). You may see yourself through your child or your dog or a stranger on a bus, or maybe, if you look hard enough into your own eyes, you can see yourself when you look in the mirror.
Regardless of how you come to see yourself, the beauty is that if you don't like who you see, you can change who you are and maybe even become your own idol. It is then that we see ourselves objectively.
I wonder who will reflect me today. Maybe it will be me.
