As it turns out, I am at a turning point in my life, where EVERYTHING is about to change, and I can feeling it coming, like a freight train. There will be no stopping it, an I have no desire to resist it either. I am ready for it, in fact, I called for it just days ago. I posted something on FB like "Okay world, bring it on! I'm ready!". Geeze...I don't know if I am prophetic, plain-ol' sensitive or if I should be really careful what I 'pray' for! Anyway, change is here, and it is big.
First, my 3-year relationship ended very abruptly two days ago. Completely unexpected. Three years of promises, love, bonding, commonality, expectation (there's a mistake), and ongoing plans for the future. Then I call him out on 'chatting' with another woman, and BAM...it's over. No dialog, no explanation, no warning, no nothing. Just a hundred forms of blocking one another from this and that form of communication. For all intents and purposes, he has vanished into the ethers as if he had never existed, and I am left with a profound sense of freedom/relief/closure/happiness/grief, etc., but most of all a vacuum that has begun to suck all kinds of goodness into my life that was being blocked by my attachment to him. I feel a bit like I am being suddenly catapulted into the known and unknown, and it is a very exciting ride.
Like many dreams I have, I am flying above my life, having a good look around, and seeing everything that I am letting go of, with great delight I might add, and waving goodbye without an ounce of regret. I have been on a path for the last 25 years of building and working and building and working and building and working, and it is complete now. There will likely remain remnants of it, but I don't feel like they will be my remnants. Perhaps just a subtle legacy and fond memories.
My catapulted ride has not landed yet, so I have no idea what is next...well, maybe I have some idea, but I don't want to put any expectations out there...I've learned my lesson about that little poisonous tidbit. But I am free to let go and dream and let providence have its way with me. I am unafraid, and ready for what my next mission is, and know it will be my best one yet.
I'll let you know what it is when I find out.
Until then, much love and many blessings to all of you.
Peggy
